The Many Sons of God
If you remember a few weeks back, I gave a promise to talk about my siblings. Well, here it is.
Michael – The oldest of us all. Despite what a lot of legends say, we get along just fine. It does get a little uncomfortable sometimes, as he still refuses to leave the service of our father, despite agreeing with me on many issues regarding Dad. I do admire my big brother for his loyalty but it shows a lack of self-identity and worth. It bothers me that he doesn’t think for himself sometimes. But it isn’t easy being the right hand of God. There aren’t princes in Heaven, but if there were, Mike would be the prince of patience. He is in charge of watching over the highest level of Heaven.
Gabriel – My older sister. Yes. Sister. Get over it. You know those vegetarians that try to get everyone to eat vegetarian? That’s Gabby. She can get really annoying when trying to keep people from over divulging. She would be the princess of Temperance, which we kind of take as the opposite of Gluttony. Despite this, it’s hard to not like her. She knows how annoying she can get and tries to avoid doing it as much as possible. She has a really good outlook on life, and she absolutely loves humans. She’s the one that tries the hardest to get Dad and me to “patch things up.” She acts like we haven’t spoken to each other in millennia. She’s got the second highest level in Heaven.
Uriel – He was the unofficial leader of the second tier of gods. I don’t like him much. No one does really. Not as bad as Satan, mind you, but still. And this is one of the Heaven guys. He would be the prince of Chastity, so…yeah. There’s the obvious there. But to make it worse, he takes chastity to mean purity. He has no love for any of the rebels, and even though I am not one of the rebels, I get mixed with them just the same. I disagree with Father, I am a monster, in his eyes. Even though they didn’t like each other, Uri and Satan managed to get along enough to plan some serious damage to “sinners,” both human and god alike. I’m really glad those two have been split up. He’s now in charge of the third highest level of Heaven.
Raphael – The would-be prince of Kindness, and, boy, does he live up to that title. Only one person has ever been able to get this guy riled up and do something mean. One guess who. I’ll give you a hint: His name begins with an ‘S’, and I hate him. Anyway, what sucked about that event, was that even though Satan deserved it, and much more, Ralph was depressed for a very long time after that. Which of course brought the rest of us down, making us want to hurt Satan more, but Ralphie would blame himself if anything more would happen to Satan. A vicious circle. He’s in charge of the middle level of Heaven.
Saraquel – Stuck up bitch. Which is saying a lot, since I’m the prince of Pride. The funny part about it is that she’s the princess of Humility. But the way she goes about displaying is nothing short of pompous. She has that ‘holier-than-thou” aspect to her. Sara, in her own ways, makes the worlds remember that she is the most humble person in the universes. And that, of course, is not in the slightest, humble. So I say it again, stuck up bitch. She’s in charge of the lowest level of Heaven. Her choice.
Ramiel – Lovely goddess. I wish she would think about herself now and then, but what can you do? She is the princess of Charity. It’s sad to see sometimes. You see, there is this rule saying that we can’t directly interfere with human lives, which means we can’t harm or help humans ourselves. So Remi can’t go to Earth and help those in need, which gets her down sometimes. Most of us try our hardest to figure out ways to get around that, usually by inspiring or influencing a third party to do the deed. Remi is no exception, and she loves her work. A good portion of the world’s charities were started by someone she managed to convince. She’s even indirectly responsible for convincing some celebrities to donate a bunch of money. She is in charge of the third lowest level of Heaven.
Raguel – Hardest working fellow in Heaven and Hell. Which makes sense, considering he’s the prince of Diligence. He sees something that needs done, and he does it. He doesn’t really take a break ever, so it can be tiring to watch him to his thing. I try every now and then to get him to take a vacation, but he always tells me he’ll think about. He does realize that we care about his well-being, and, kind of like what I would do, he jokes about it. He calls himself Rags, a play on his name and the condition his clothes tend to be in since he thinks they’re a low priority on his to-do list. He is the head of the second lowest level of Hell.
Azrael – Most of us gods meet on Earth to catch up or discuss business. Heaven or Hell makes the residents of the other pretty uncomfortable so we try not to go there whenever possible. Oz is different. He, being the psychopomp that he is, leads the souls of the dead to their afterlife. This means he has to go to both places on a daily basis. As I mentioned a few weeks ago, he’s the only one who doesn’t mind being called an angel. And as far as being angels, the Angel of Death isn’t a bad way to go. Unfortunately, he doesn’t really get the recognition from Dad. He’s still in the lower ranks of gods, doesn’t have his own realm, and doesn’t represent an aspect of humanity. I like to tell him that he’s in charge of Purgatory, the realm where the dead travel to their destination. He likes that.He’s a good kid that deserves a lot more than he’s getting, but, bless him, he doesn’t let that get him down. He wants me to clarify something, though. He doesn’t actually kill people. He only takes their soul to the realm they are going. He shows up when you die, but he doesn’t determine when that is. He gets yelled at a lot. Be nice to him when it’s your time to go.
Jesus – I will talk more about him the week before Christmas, but here’s the skinny. When he was born, he was not divine. Dad had plans for him, but there wasn’t any special blood in him. He lived and died as a human. Because of his sacrifice, Dad made him into a god. It happens in Greek realities and it happened in ours. But in case you’re wondering, it was the only time it’s happened in our realty. So he sacrifices himself for all of humanity and is sent to retrieve the keys of Hell so people can get to Heaven. Or some bullshit like that. Honestly, he was used as a symbol. My father, the guy that can do anything, needed a human sacrifice to gain the ability to get his creation into Heaven? Seriously? There aren’t any keys to Hell. The reason JC (a name he likes, by the way) took three days in my realm was because I was teaching him the ways of the gods. And convincing him that his father wasn’t all that was cracked up to be. We are actually friends now. He is a funny dude. One of my favorite jokes is how getting a few loaves of bread and fish to feed five thousand wasn’t a miracle, just a good investment. He feels comfortable coming to my realm, although he doesn’t go to the other realms of Hell. Eventually, everyone gets to meet JC. He is a man of the people. But like I said, more on him closer to his “birthday.”
I go into the princes of Hell next week. See you then.