Heaven and Home
Before you ask, Hell exists. It is, however, not my prison. Well, not in any traditional sense. Its original intent was for me to have my own realm, one in which I would be able to have my own creation. My father’s thinking was that I would be too responsible over my own creation to speak out against his. He assumed I would create another race like humans, having the power to do more than just design them in the new realm.
But I looked at humans as my creation already, and I did a damn good job. I didn’t need another race to prove my skill. So I experimented on the landscape. I made it a paradise, but without anything but myself living in it, it was entirely boring. I went to Earth often to check on my designs. One of these trips involved the whole “First Sin” incident.
Everything was going…well, it was going. The first man and woman, along with their children, were living their lives. My father was helping them, although he was asking for something in return.
Then my brother Satan decided to change things up.
Satan, not really known for being subtle, saw my realm and decided he wanted one for himself. He managed to convince several of our brothers and sisters that they all deserved their own realm. The worst part was, he was using some of the things I said to convince them.
Now, I don’t have an automatic love for my father, but I have no reason to go directly against him. I don’t hate him. I just disagree with him. But in this instance, I disagreed with my brother, too; probably more so. There were plenty of my siblings that deserve their own realm, but Satan and the others? No. More on that next week.
Let’s talk about Heaven and Hell. Everyone seems to know that there are levels to Hell. In The Divine Comedy, specifically Inferno, Dante describes nine levels. Not true. There are only seven, each prince having their own level. As punishment for their insubordination, Dad sent them to my realm, where I was ruler. He forced me to make the call. I did mention I disagreed with him, right? Well, I didn’t want them in my realm, so I kind of gave them what they wanted. Six of them, anyway. The others were split amongst the realms as underlings. The ones that were truly repentant, I kept in my realm. I was going to need help.
When Cain killed his brother, I knew my father would send him my way once he died. Of course, he was given that mark and hasn’t actually died yet, but the prediction was good enough. These sins were going to have to be punished in the afterlife, and I, much like with my siblings, was going to get the bad ones.
This brings up the first level of Hell. My realm. As I mentioned, it was a paradise; still is, by the way. But it’s no longer empty. Frankly it’s quite full. I am constantly expanding it. The people inhabiting it are there because of the way I designed them. They are curious and questioning, and this led them to deny my father in some way. Or they grew up in the wrong religion, but they usually stick their own realities’ afterlife. If they were otherwise a good person, they stay in my realm. To boil it down, my realm is full of people Dad didn’t like enough to let them into Heaven.
The other realms are the punishment realms. These realms are shitty. There my creations as well, I just don’t rule over them directly. Those fallen gods that are in charge are pissed that they don’t get a paradise to rule over. This anger comes out in the form of punishing the true sinners. These are people that don’t use their ability to control themselves that I designed in them. They chose to lie, cheat, and still, along with the other real sins. In Hell, you aren’t punished for the sins against my father, you’re punished form the sins against mankind. Each level gets worse the farther “down” you go. Being metaphysical realms, there isn’t an actual down direction, but the metaphor still fits. My lovely brother Satan is in the worst part.
No matter what everyone is given a chance at redemption. Whatever your sin is, you are sent to a level of Hell. After you’re punishment is up you move up a level and serve your sentence again. Most sinners are sent to the second level of Hell, meaning that when their punishment is up, they join my realm for the rest of eternity.
Each sin is judged separately for its own merit. There’re many factors that we look at. Intent, result, mindset, etc. Being the God of Knowledge, I already know what the factors are, so there isn’t a need for a trial. Certain patterns do show up. Wonton murder for example is usually given three hundred years in every realm for each life taken. Child murderers get twice that. But then ruthless dictators show up. Those that kill a lot of people and with someone else’s hand. Or those that start a deadly war. The big three that come to mind are Joseph Stalin, Mao Zedong, and Adolph Hitler. I gave them an even thousand years per life lost under their direct rule. Here are the results, roughly estimated.
Joseph Stalin: 20,000,000,000 years/Hell; 120,000,000,000 years to reach my realm.
Mao Zedong: 44,000,000,000 years/Hell; 246,000,000,000 years to reach my realm.
Adolf Hitler: 66,000,000,000 years/Hell; 396,000,000,000 years to reach my realm.
So, yes, even Hitler will eventually reach my realm, but the universe will have been over and done with several times over by the time he does.
As I said, most people know about the levels of Hell, but they never really hear about the levels of Heaven. There are also seven. The system works roughly the same, in that how good in life you are determines the levels in afterwards. Where it differs is this: the better in life you are, the more levels of Heaven you can get into. It’s like a VIP club of some sort. The best of the best can get into all levels of Heaven, those who did some good works get into three or four levels, and anyone whose good and bad deeds were kept at a minimum but still believed and followed my father gets access to just the first level. Unlike Hell, there is no way to advance to the other levels. If you arrive in Heaven and can only go to the first level, you’re stuck there for all eternity. There aren’t a lot of people in the highest level.
There isn’t anything really complicated about it. The better you do in life, the better your afterlife. Just be good to each other, and you’ll do fine.
See you later.
P.S. I will try to have posts up every Monday at around 10am Eastern, 7am Pacific. Again, I will TRY to do that. No promises.