The First Sin and Why I Don’t Go To Heaven

What happened in the Garden of Eden? I get that question a lot. Why did I damn the entire human race? I didn’t, at least not directly. At that time, the idea of damning wasn’t yet around. But more on that later.

The most annoying question I get is: why a serpent? It’s going to be real obvious that I hate any of the typical stereotypes that get associated with me, and this is a big one. Moses was a very talented writer, but he did like to be creative in his descriptions at times. It started out from him simply calling me a snake, then he turned it into the origin story of the snakes, and I became the serpent that became the first snake. He didn’t like me.

Now to the big question. Why?  There were several reasons, and I’ll admit that a lot of it had to do with getting back at my father. He had already started taking credit for my work in designing humans. We had just gotten into a big fight about several things, one of which was free will. That story can wait.

But the thing that got me was how he was using my knowledge to temp Adam and Eve. First, he insults me by making the knowledge of good and evil accessible through a simple fruit tree. Then he tells them they can’t have it. There was so many things wrong with that.

As the god of knowledge, I don’t like people to just be given knowledge like that. I don’t mean that you can’t just look up something online. It does take more work than that. You have to find it online and commit to memory; it isn’t automatically your knowledge instantaneously like the apple did. If you watch the scene in The Matrix when Neo learns martial arts, that’s not going to happen in real life if I can help it.

But what really pissed me off was the denying knowledge aspect. He was saying there was knowledge they could know (trust me, there is a lot things humans simply can’t know) but wasn’t allowed to know. I don’t care how hard it is to get, as long as humans have the ability to know something, they are allowed to know it. Just not instantly.

I convinced Eve to take the fruit. It wasn’t hard. Humans have an innate hunger for power, thanks to me, and as Sir Francis Bacon, and GI Joe, were known to say, “Knowledge is power.” I went with Eve first because with her on my side, Adam was a shoo-in. I had designed men to need women more than the other way around. So the temptation of power mixed with the thought of losing Eve got him to eat the fruit very quickly.

I don’t know everything. Facts are easy. They simply are, and that’s easy to know. However, what beings with free will will choose is impossible to know. I know the most likely choice that will be made, but I can still be surprised. So can Dad. For example, he didn’t know that these new creations would choose to disobey him. I laughed at his naïveté. Of course, I didn’t know he would punish them for eating the fruit as severely as he did. I figured banning from Eden, but putting humans on the verge of damnation (the Cain and Abel thing pushed Dad over the edge), that was a failure on my part.

As it turned out, the fruit was the final straw. He had already created a realm where I would have more power than I would in this one. The dumb brute thought that I would be happy staying there, and that I would be so bad at creating my world that it would be torture for anyone staying there. Moron. I think it’s a wonderful place, and that’s by human standards. But I had already created humans, my perfect project, so I wasn’t going to try to recreate them in my realm.

After Eden, though, Dad went on a rampage. There was a group of my siblings that had been showing their dissent, and our father just straight up banned them to my realm. These were not my favorite siblings by a long shot. So I created realms for them to stay in, out of my way. More on that next week.

I’ve never been officially banned from Heaven myself, but it kind of became an unspoken rule type thing. I don’t often have a desire to go to Heaven, but there are a lot of people, my creation, that I would like to see from time to time. The intelligent ones, the knowledge seekers. Luckily, more and more turn away from my father as time goes on, and that puts them in my realm. I’ll talk more on the afterlife next week.

See you later.


~ by lukebringer on October 10, 2011.

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